Nurturing Emotional Intelligence Through IEP Goals
Does your child struggle to express what they're feeling or become easily overwhelmed by emotions? You're not alone! Many children need extra support to develop emotional awareness and healthy coping strategies. The good news? Your child's Individualized Education Program (IEP) can be a powerful tool for emotional growth.
Why Emotional Skills Belong in Your Child's IEP
While IEPs often focus on academic skills, emotional development is just as crucial for your child's success. Children who understand their feelings and have strategies to manage them perform better in school, build stronger relationships, and develop greater resilience—skills that benefit them throughout life.
When children learn to recognize emotions in themselves and others, they're building foundational skills for empathy, self-regulation, and social connection. These abilities don't just happen naturally for all kids; some need structured support to develop them.
What Are Those Common Core Standards, Anyway?
If you've sat through an IEP meeting, you've likely heard teachers mention "Common Core Standards." Think of these as milestones on your child's learning journey—they outline what kids should typically learn at each grade level.
When you see codes like "RL.K.3" in your child's paperwork, here's a simple breakdown: "RL" stands for Reading Literature, "K" is the grade level (kindergarten), and "3" is the specific skill (in this case, identifying characters and their feelings in stories). By connecting your child's emotional goals to these standards, you're helping them develop important life skills while also supporting their academic progress.
Key Emotional Development Goals and Objectives
Let's look at two essential emotional development goals for children, with specific objectives and game suggestions to support skill development at school and home.
Goal 1: The student will accurately identify emotions/feelings.
Objectives:
- The student will correctly point to emotions/feelings shown in images (e.g., flashcards, pictures, posters).
- The student will correctly label emotions verbally when presented in images.
- When presented with role play or hypothetical situations, the student will correctly identify the emotions demonstrated.
- The student will identify situations in which they experienced specific emotions.
- The student will identify strategies for coping with negative emotions.
Aligned Standards:
- RL.K.3, RL.1.3, RL.2.3: Identify characters, settings, and how characters respond to events
- RL.3.3, RL.4.3: Describe characters' traits, motivations, and feelings
- SL.K.4, SL.1.4: Describe people, places, things, and events with feelings and details
- L.K.5c, L.1.5c, L.2.5b: Connect words with real-life experiences and uses
Games and Activities to Support This Goal:
- Language Learning Cards: People Set: Use these cards to help children match facial expressions with emotion words.
- Find & Match: Feelings Safari: Turn emotion identification into a fun scavenger hunt.
- Go Fish: Faces and Feelings: A familiar game format that incorporates charades to help kids practice showing and recognizing emotions.
- Feelings & Coping Skills Posters: Hang these in your child's room or classroom as visual reminders.
- Story Time Feelings: While reading together, ask "How do you think this character feels right now?" and "How can you tell?"
Goal 2: When experiencing negative emotions, student will identify and implement coping strategies.
Objectives:
- When discussing hypothetical situations involving negative emotions, the student will identify behaviors or thoughts that led to that negative emotion.
- When discussing hypothetical situations involving negative emotions, the student will identify coping strategies that can be applied to lessen those feelings.
- When feeling a negative emotion, the student will use a coping strategy to help manage those feelings.
Aligned Standards:
- RL.3.3, RL.4.3, RL.5.2: Describe character responses to challenges; determine theme
- RI.3.8, RI.4.8, RI.5.8: Explain how reasons support points (logical thinking)
- SL.K.4, SL.1.4, SL.2.4: Describe with relevant details, including feelings
- W.K.8, W.1.8, W.2.8: Recall information or gather information to answer questions
Games and Activities to Support This Goal:
- Roll With It: This coping skills kit helps children apply different coping strategies to challenging situations. Children can always add additional items that help them feel calm.
- Feelings & Coping Skills Posters: Provides visual reminders of strategies to try when big feelings arise.
- Feelings Journal: For older children, encourage them to write or draw their feelings and what helped them feel better.
- Calming Corner: Designate a space at home and school where children can go to use their coping strategies when overwhelmed.
- "What Would You Do?" Scenarios: Create simple stories about challenging situations and brainstorm helpful responses together.
Making Emotional Goals Measurable
For your child to make real progress, their emotional goals need to be specific and measurable. Instead of "Johnny will get better at identifying feelings," try something like: "When shown emotion cards, Johnny will correctly identify 4 out of 5 basic emotions (happy, sad, angry, scared, surprised) in 3 consecutive sessions."
The SMART framework works wonderfully here:
- Specific: Focus on a particular emotion or coping skill
- Measurable: Include numbers that can be tracked (such as "4 out of 5 times")
- Appropriate: Match the goal to the child's current abilities
- Relevant: Choose skills that will help in real-life situations
- Time-bound: Set a timeline for checking progress
Bringing Emotional Learning Home
The magic happens when emotional learning continues beyond the classroom. Try these simple approaches:
- Use the same emotion words at home that teachers use at school
- Point out emotions in everyday situations: "That dog looks excited to see its owner!"
- Talk about your own feelings: "I'm feeling frustrated because the traffic is so heavy."
- Celebrate when your child uses coping strategies: "I noticed you took deep breaths when you got upset. That really helped!"
- Create visual reminders of coping strategies to use in tough moments
Your Child's Emotional Growth Matters
With thoughtful support both at school and home, your child can develop the emotional awareness and coping skills they need to thrive. Their IEP isn't just paperwork—it's a pathway to emotional intelligence that will serve them throughout life.
Take an active role in discussing emotional goals with your child's teachers and therapists. By working together, you'll help your child build emotional skills that are truly life-changing.
Remember: Every child develops at their own pace. Celebrate small victories and be patient with setbacks—emotional growth isn't always linear, but each step forward makes a difference!
Sources:
- Individualized Education Programs (IEPs) https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/iep.html
- English Language Arts Standards: https://www.thecorestandards.org/ELA-Literacy
