Free Social Skills Checklist by Age
This free social skills checklist covers what many children can do at each age, from the first months of life through the end of high school. Each age band lists skills that most kids have picked up by that point, and there is a printable PDF for each stage so you can check things off as you go.
Social development moves at its own pace, and between physical, language and cognitive milestones there is already a lot to keep track of. A checklist can give you a rough sense of what is typical right now and what might be coming next, which makes it easier to notice a skill worth practicing.
| Stage | Ages | Printable |
|---|---|---|
| First 24 months | 0–24 months | |
| Preschool | 2–6 years | |
| School age | 6–12 years | |
| Teens | 12–18 years |
How to use this social skills checklist
Each list describes skills that most children have by that age. That does not mean every child will follow the same path. Every kid is unique, and yours may be ahead with some skills and a late bloomer with others. Think of the checklist as a ballpark guide to what to expect and what to work on, not a test to pass.
One simple way to use it: read the band for your child's age and the one before it, check off what you see often in everyday life, and pick one or two unchecked skills to practice. Skills from the next band up can be a nice preview of what is coming.
Teachers and counselors sometimes use checklists like this one as an informal observation tool, and it can work well for noting what you see across a few weeks. It is not a standardized assessment, though, so it is best used for noticing and conversation rather than for diagnosis or eligibility decisions.
If you are concerned that your child has not yet picked up one or more skills in their age group, bring it up with your pediatrician. They can offer more specific guidance and, if it seems helpful, point you toward a developmental evaluation.
Social skills checklist for the first 24 months
0 to 3 months
- Smiles in response to you (i.e. "social smile")
- Looks at your face and makes eye contact
- Shows new facial expressions
- Calms down when you speak or pick him/her up
- Can self-calm (e.g. sucking thumb)
- Seems happy to see you
4 to 6 months
- Smiles, moves or makes sounds to get your attention
- Chuckles in response to something funny
- Responds to some facial expressions and gestures
- Turns head toward the sound of your voice
- Enjoys looking at self in the mirror
- Has awareness of surroundings
- Recognizes familiar faces
- Makes sounds to express if happy or displeased
7 to 9 months
- May be clingy or fearful around unfamiliar people
- Plays some games (e.g. peek-a-boo)
- Picks up meaning of words used frequently and consistently
- Responds to name
- Has a range of facial expressions (e.g. happy, sad, angry, surprised)
- May become "clingy" with you
- Reacts when you leave
- Prefers certain toys
10 to 12 months
- Plays simple games with you
- Repeats sounds and gestures
- Mimics simple actions
- Extends toys to others
- Demonstrates separation anxiety when not with you
- Marks some independence (e.g. refusing food)
- Seeks to maintain interactions with adults
- Lifts arms up to you
13 to 18 months
- Claps when happy or excited
- Hugs favorite toy or stuffed animal
- Enjoys being around other children and copies their actions
- Plays independently for brief periods
- Looks for hidden objects
- Enjoys repetitive actions (e.g. putting toys in boxes)
- Shows affection (e.g. hugs, kisses, cuddles)
19 to 24 months
- Moves away from you but looks back to check you're close
- Points out things of interest
- Looks at pages of a book with you
- Says simple words like "hi" or "please"
- Helps you dress him/her
- Notices when you're upset or hurt
- Checks your face to know how to react to a new situation
- Shows "defiant" behaviors to assert independence (e.g. tantrums)
Download the Social Skills Checklist for the First 24 Months of Life
Social skills checklist for preschoolers
Ages 2 to 3
- Copies others doing complex tasks (e.g. cooking, cleaning, etc.)
- Participates in group activities (e.g. singing, dancing, etc.)
- Shows affection for friends and family
- Has a wider range of emotions
- Shows you skills and says "Look at me!"
- Becomes upset by changes in routine
- Is able to calm down after you leave
- Is aware of personal needs and acts "selfishly"
- Expresses needs or desires (e.g. "I'm hungry")
- Screams or has temper tantrums
- Is aware of parental approval/disapproval
- May express anger through hitting, biting or fighting
- Has emotional attachments to certain toys or objects
- Seeks out parents/caregivers for comfort
Ages 3 to 4
- Cooperates with other children
- Tries to share and take turns
- Sometimes resolves conflicts in small settings
- Uses words to communicate
- Show independence (e.g. chooses own clothes to wear)
- Has a simple concept of good and bad
- Comforts others who are sad or hurt (e.g. hugging a friend)
- Avoids danger
- Enjoys being a "helper"
- Plays make-believe often
- Shows a higher tolerance for frustration
- Criticizes or expresses opinions
- Displays sympathy
Ages 5 to 6
- Develops friendships and even a best friend
- Understands others' feelings
- Follows rules and takes turns
- Enjoys singing, dancing and/or acting
- Engages in play that goes beyond personal experience (e.g. going to space)
- Knows the difference between real life and make-believe
- Has shifts in attitude or moods
- Shows shame when caught doing something wrong
- Completes simple chores at home
Download the Social Skills Checklist for Preschool Aged Children
Social skills checklist for school-age children
Ages 6 to 9
- Engages with other kids while playing or at school
- Knows how to lead and to follow
- May try to be the "best" at everything
- Shows concern for others
- Starts learning from mistakes
- May display infatuation with a teacher or playmate
- Begins to care for room and belongings
- May have difficulty coping with losing
- May express lack of confidence
Ages 9 to 12
- Seeks praise and instant gratification
- Becomes highly social
- May be influenced by peer pressure
- Puts some distance between self and adults
- Expresses a wide range of emotions
- Knows appropriate behavior
- Is able to manage anger and big feelings
- Shows interest in popular teenage things (e.g. music, videos, makeup)
- Feels self-conscious
Download the Social Skills Checklist for School Aged Children
Social skills checklist for teens
These two bands cover middle school and high school, where social skills tend to shift from getting along in a group toward handling more complex friendships, conflict and independence.
Ages 12 to 15
- Makes appropriate introductions of self and others
- Initiates conversations with peers and adults in various settings
- Takes turns in conversations and actively listens to others
- Asks relevant questions and responds appropriately to others' communication
- Shows empathy and works to understand different perspectives
- Recognizes and interprets nonverbal cues like body language and facial expressions
- Adapts behavior appropriately to different social situations and settings
- Understands basic social norms and expectations in various contexts
- Identifies and understands own emotions and their impact on behavior
- Uses appropriate coping strategies when experiencing stress or difficult emotions
- Expresses personal identity through choices in interests, style, or activities
- Takes responsibility for personal tasks such as homework, chores, and commitments
- Builds and maintains meaningful friendships with peers
- Communicates needs and feelings effectively to trusted adults
Ages 15 to 18
- Builds and maintains deeper, more complex friendships and relationships
- Resolves conflicts through problem-solving, compromise, and accepting consequences
- Navigates romantic relationships with appropriate boundaries and respect
- Makes responsible decisions with increasing independence from parents/caregivers
- Accurately reads social situations and adjusts communication style accordingly
- Takes others' perspectives into account when making decisions
- Understands and respects cultural and individual differences in social interactions
- Demonstrates self-control in challenging social and academic situations
- Resists negative peer pressure while maintaining friendships
- Seeks appropriate help when experiencing emotional difficulties
- Balances family relationships with peer relationships appropriately
- Explores personal interests and identity through various activities and choices
- Makes thoughtful decisions about risk-taking and considers consequences
- Articulates personal values and applies them to decision-making
- Sets realistic short-term and long-term goals and works toward achieving them
Download the Social Skills Checklist for High School Aged Teens
How to practice the skills your child is still building
Once you have a skill or two in mind, everyday routines are often the easiest place to practice: taking turns at dinner, greeting a neighbor, talking through how a character in a book might feel. Our activities for building social skills at home has more ideas for younger kids, and for a child who hangs back in groups, building social skills in shy kids looks at how to go at their pace. Nonverbal skills like reading faces and body language come up across several age bands, and our list of common social cues to teach children is a good starting point for those. With teens, social skills activities for high school students suggests ways in that do not feel like a lesson.
Games can help too, since they give kids a reason to take turns, listen and share, usually with lots of laughs along the way. Dive In (ages 6+) is a family conversation game: you roll dice to build a question, then use the Dive In cards to go deeper. With more than 450 topics, from funny icebreakers to more thoughtful questions, and two levels of depth, it works when younger and older kids are at the same table. Chat Chains (ages 8+) works on conversation: you start with a topic card, then add question and answer cards to build the conversation chain, which can make the back-and-forth of a conversation something a child can actually see.
For teens whose social skills are there but hard to reach because of social anxiety, The Exposure Deck: Social Anxiety Edition (13+) offers 150 ready-to-use challenges, from starting conversations to speaking up and running errands, designed by psychologist Lauren J. Hoffman, PsyD, using exposure therapy principles. It can be used with a therapist or for self-guided practice. You can browse more in our social skills games collection.
Frequently asked questions
What social skills should a child have at each age?
It varies from child to child, but broad patterns hold. Babies start with social smiles and eye contact, toddlers begin copying others and showing affection, preschoolers learn to share and take turns, school-age children build friendships and learn to lead and follow, and teens work on deeper friendships, conflict resolution and reading social situations.
Is there a printable social skills checklist?
Yes. This checklist comes as four free printable PDFs: the first 24 months, preschool-aged children, school-aged children, and high school-aged teens. Each one lists the same skills as the age bands on this page.
Is this checklist a formal social skills assessment?
No. It is an informal guide to typical development that parents, teachers and counselors can use to notice skills and choose what to practice. Formal social skills assessments are standardized rating scales administered and interpreted by professionals.
Can this checklist be used for teens in middle and high school?
Yes. The ages 12 to 15 and 15 to 18 bands cover secondary school, with skills such as starting conversations with peers and adults, reading nonverbal cues, resolving conflicts and resisting negative peer pressure.
What should I do if my child is behind on several social skills?
Talk to your pediatrician, who can look at your child's development as a whole and suggest next steps, which may include a developmental evaluation. Missing a skill or two in an age band is common, so the overall pattern is usually more informative than any single item.
References
CDC, "CDC's Developmental Milestones," https://www.cdc.gov
Pathways, "What Social-Emotional Abilities Should My Child Have?" https://pathways.org
Brain Balance Centers, "Age-By-Age Social Development Checklist," https://www.brainbalancecenters.com
Kid Sense, "Play and Social Development Charts," https://childdevelopment.com.au
Raising Children, "Social and Emotional Changes: Pre-teens and Teenagers," https://raisingchildren.net.au
